(dc) two-headed baby

wow.

(dc) beautiful confluence - unbelievable luck

kelly: 750, entropy: 0

i would think it would be more likely to find a tadpole in my perrier than for these things all to have happened yesterday. if i were better at probability and statistics, i might try to put hard numbers to it. you might have to know me well to understand just how unlikely the events were, but i'll try my best to outline it for you.

1) i woke up early and started working on my mixing/mastering homework [UNLIKELY EVENT #1]. usually, i find ways to procrastinate for at least a couple hours.
2) i decided after an hour of this that even though i'm way behind in my class and in my other mixing projects, i should spend a couple hours organizing my storage lockers [UNLIKELY EVENT #2], so as to avoid having to pay another month for a second unit ($200/mo!).
3) at 10am when the storage place opened, i headed next door and started sorting through stuff. my goal was to take pictures of all the stuff i want to get rid of and unpack the remaining boxes in the second storage unit. i was getting down and dirty into boxes [UNLIKELY EVENT #3] that i had schlepped around 3 states and stored for years.
4) in the bottom of one plastic container circa 2002 i found two ratty apple peripherals boxes. in the first one (laptop power adapter box) was a broken jade ashtray that i had kept for some reason. i opened the second one ("GeForce4 Titanium Graphics Card Upgrade") expecting it either to be empty or containing something random, but there was an actual graphics card in it [UNLIKELY EVENT #4]. i stood for a minute trying to bring dead brain cells to life. i couldn't remember anything about this card - the seal was broken so i had at least opened it. it looked new. it said NVIDIA Ge4 on it. i just made a mental note: "hmm, random graphics card. good to know."
5) after two hours of unpacking, i realized this was a more ambitious project than i had thought, and i needed a lunchbreak. i left everything where it was (spread out into adjacent empty storage spaces) and ran home for a burrito. as i was checking my email, my 17" flat screen monitor on my studio computer went black [UNLIKELY EVENT #5]. i've had this computer since 2002 and nothing except the initial hard drive crash in the first week has failed. i tried fiddling with all the cables and connectors. none more black. frustrated, i didn't know if it was the monitor, cables, or video card, and i'd just have to wait till after the storage project to troubleshoot.
6) i went back over to the storage locker and worked feverishly until closing time (3pm). i pushed it so close that i sorta had to cram everything back into the second unit and run downstairs so as not to be locked in for the rest of the weekend. at the last minute by the elevator in a moment of mental clarity [UNLIKELY EVENT #6], i realized i'd forgotten to grab the computer card, so i ran back and got it.
7) i then drove to work and retrieved two tiny apple screens (14") that i was relatively sure still worked so i could start troubleshooting my monitor problem. if i didn't get my computer working, i'd have no chance of finishing my homework, and this is finals week!
8) after trying various configurations of cables and monitors, it seemed as if the 17" monitor was dead, as was one of the ports (DVI) on the graphics card. the other port sort of worked with the little monitor, but was pink and blurry. i thought i was facing buying a new monitor and a new graphics card.
9) on a whim, i decided to try the graphics card i'd found in my storage locker. couldn't hurt, right? i popped it in, and suddenly my 17" monitor worked again [UNLIKELY EVENT #7]! et voila!! it flickered a little, but then after restart, it was good as new. what?
10) everything was working, but i decided to try and install the software from the disk included with the card. my computer informed me that the software wasn't compatible with my computer, so i decided i should call apple and find out if it was ok to use this card with my computer. i also thought i'd find out how much it would cost to replace the original card.
11) the nice guy at apple informed me first that my computer was purchased in 2002 (the early mesozoic, in mac years), and therefore was no longer under warranty, and that any agreement we made for technical support would cost me $49. so i said never mind and he asked me what the problem was. i told him, and asked him how much it might cost to replace the graphics card. he put me on hold for a long time and came back and told me $499. (plus the $49). he said the new card i had just installed was compatible and should work just fine.

so....sorry. this story goes up to 11. long winded, but i just had to document it.

in short, because i made the highly unusual decision to get organized, i saved $200 for another month's rent for the second storage space and another $550 for a new graphics card (or several K for a new computer). justin had called when i was just starting the storage project and asked what i was doing. when i said, "fighting entropy," he said, "you'll never win."

i think i did. who's the big winner now? HAHAHAHAHA i laugh in the face of entropy. you do not scare me.

(dc) in her element

this was my happy Naw Ruz.



photos by scott henrichsen. thanks scott!

(dc) musipedia

this is the coolest thing i've seen all year.

(dc fast 19) last fast day

winter storm warning for tomorrow - snow, freezing temperatures. so much for the first day of spring. :(

(dc) it's late

amy and i had a very romantic impromptu evening together. if this could happen more often with boys, i'd be all set. i was planning just to eat burrito's for dinner and work on my homework when she called. we cooked dinner (pad thai, tofu, and spinach salad) and then we went to the pictures. i'd say picture, but there were two. oh, yes. we went sneakin' into the movies. after we saw capote, we were still in the mood to watch more. so we went next door to see brokeback mountain. now, before you make too many judgements, think about this: the theaters don't make much money off ticket sales. where they really make their money is on concessions. this has been explained to me by an expert in the business. so we bought concessions again for the second film. and the theater probably made more money off our popcorn and large soda than they would have if we'd paid for that second film and skipped the food. PLUS - on my way back in from buying the second set of concessions, the lady asked for my ticket. i had left it in the theater with amy, so i told the lady i'd come back and show it to her. i knew there was a good chance we'd get kicked out when i showed her my ticket. back in the theater, amy and i debated for a moment about what to do. remembering always that "truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues" (Baha'i Writings), i decided that i'd go out and show the lady my capote ticket, and if she wanted to kick me out, i'd call amy, and we'd leave. when i got out there, the lady was gone, and there was another guy in her place. it didn't make much sense for me to walk up to him and show him my bad ticket, so i went back in and we watched the second movie, feeling somewhat satisfied that we'd made at least a gesture of an attempt at honesty.

amy told me that if i don't get into heaven, she'll be right outside the door with me. for good measure, i'll go back and see brokeback mountain as planned with justin in a few weeks (if it's still playing), and this time we'll pay. then all will be even steven and my karma will be restored.

*(dc) spring tease

i spoke too soon about spring being here. i mean, she _was_ here. but she's just a tease. and the poor trees - they really fell for it. they fully committed. they're blooming their little hearts out. mostly the little ones. the big ones weren't so gullible. and where did spring go? MIA. winter is such a bully. and spring will just not have any of that. i guess she'll come back when winter stops throwing its little fits. i'm really hoping she'll at least show up for her birthday party next tuesday. stupid winter. he can throw all the fits he wants, but he's no match for equinox.

*(dc) nasa goddard culture non-photo-essay

i was downstairs in the printer/fax/coffee/microwave room (closet) minding my own business this morning when an older scientist-type man walked in. he looked at me like i was an alien (there are some of those around here) and said, "i've never seen you before in my *life*." i thought that was an unusual way to start a conversation. i said, good-naturedly, "i work upstairs." i kind of hoped that would be enough information and i could head back up to my office. instead, he pressed on, wanting to know which upstairs: the middle floor or the top floor? i didn't actually know the answer. i said, "one flight up." then he said, "where do you come from?" (again, as if expecting me to say "Enceladus - i left last august when a giant geyser destroyed my plantation. also, i was tired of the cold.") somehow the conversation lurched around and finally found its way to airplanes (via JSC -> astronauts he knows -> similar fast airplanes they own -> his surprise that i knew he was talking about airplanes -> his continued surprise that i'm a pilot). another younger scientist walked in and he said, "hey joe, i found another pilot." the conversation ended with an invitation to ride in his fast plane (or at least to join the 'waiting list'). since i don't have a picture, this little vignette will have to serve as the goddard culture photoessay entry for today.

*(dc) daffodils

my view. i like to think of this as the door to my balcony. some might call it a rusty fire escape. it's all just a matter of perspective.

*(dc) practice makes happy

i practiced the piano last night at 4am. i can do this because i have no neighbors. it reminded me of when i was a little girl and i'd have an idea and want to get up and play it, and i had total freedom to do that, even though there was a house full of people. how is that? could they all just sleep through anything? do they remember this? did it ever annoy them? it *felt* like the living room was my own domain, and when i was at the piano, no one else existed, but in retrospect, that house was small - it must have been an imposition. they never made me feel that way.

my skillz need work. but they're still there somewhere.

(dc fast 12) google mars

wow. but.... the logo promised bugs.



i wonder if my friends who left NASA and went to google had anything to do with this.

(dc) suddenly spring 2

along with the sudden appearance of spring has come the overnight blossoming of trees everywhere.

(dc fast 11) broke 160

today i woke up at 4 and couldn't go back to sleep. that never happens to me.

(dc fast 10) half-way-point reflection

(hi readers - this earnest, self-reflective post is really just for my own records and it will be pretty uninteresting to anyone who's not me. i'd recommend skipping it unless you're _really_ bored.)

i just realized last night that this has been a remarkable fast so far. it has been much different from previous years. first of all, we're halfway through, and i've been home every single night (!). i have stuck more or less to the 6am - 2pm work schedule, and i've been home every afternoon between 3 - 4:30. with the exception of my big sunday devotional last weekend, i've broken the fast alone at my house and then gone to sleep pretty soon thereafter between 9 and 10:30. this is going to change next week when i go to houston for work, but this year has seen the least amount of traveling and outside scheduled events that i've ever had during the fast. i remember one of my first fasts in high school when i was on the varsity tennis team, and we'd practice (_hard_) after school. i would get so thirsty i'd run home and stand by the sink with my glass ready to gulp down water at sunset. in retrospect, that schedule might have fallen under the "hard labor" exception, but i was never sure.

second, i've gotten enough water. there's also a tendency during the fast for me not to drink enough water, especially in the mornings. but being up well before sunrise and switching sometimes to carbonated water has made it pretty easy to drink 1.5-2 liters of water before sunrise, and i've noticed that i feel healthy and strong all day long.

third, i've gotten almost enough sleep (!). getting enough sleep any time of the year is one of my biggest challenges, and even more so during the fast, but it always surprises me what i can achieve when i simply prioritize something. i've gotten up (lots of times without an alarm) sometime between 5 and 6 every morning and i've stayed up. there's only been one night (also, the night of my devotional gathering) when i went to sleep after midnight, and i caught up the next night. naps have been minimal, although i have taken two or three. and last night i went to bed (accidentally) at 7:30pm. but all in all, the sleep aspect has been much improved this year as compared to the last 19 years.

lastly, i've been praying a LOT. i always pray more during the fast because there is so much awareness of the sun that it's very difficult to miss an obligatory prayer. but beyond that, since i've been home every afternoon and it's a particularly lovely time to pray, i've felt peaceful and happy most of the time.

one thing hasn't been going as well as planned. the hours outside work haven't been as productive as i had hoped - i had imagined being able to come home and spend several hours mixing each day, but this hasn't happened. some days i've been able to work, but i've tended to spend the hours on the computer handling life/financial maintenance things rather than working.

but, all in all, i feel that i've finally hit my fasting stride in this, my 19th year of fasting. it's a routine that's sustainable (for the duration of the 19-day fast) and feels _really_ good, but i guess it wouldn't be possible if i had a family or had less control over my own schedule. it has made me deeply appreciate and cherish the freedom i have both at work and at home to make my own priorities and live my life in a way that makes me feel happy and productive. i still have a long way to go, but the improvement is encouraging and exciting.

(greenbelt) good luck at mars!

our sweet little spacecraft, mars reconnaissance orbiter, arrives at mars today and does its dangerous orbit insertion burn. there are lots of nervous people around here.

you can watch it on nasa tv (starting at 12:30pm Pacific) if you want to lend your moral support.

good luck, MRO! you can do it!

(dc fast 9) zinc whiskers

they could happen to you. or tin whiskers, cadmium whiskers, silver whiskers...even gold isn't safe. lead, aluminum, and (gasp!) indium. watch your indium. if you have a mysterious failure, it's probably whiskers. they're everywhere. dun dun DUNNNNNNNN.

don't try this at home.

if you work in a computer server room, watch your step. this is what's under your feet and you could knock into your servers:

(dc) and, ladies and gentlemen...

here she is. springtime has suddenly arrived, as predicted. however, the true test of entering the Most Glorious Season During Which No Artificial Heating Or Cooling Is Necessary is when i can sleep with the windows open. there are two of these seasons a year in washington dc, but spring is the best. i will be truly, blissfully, ecstatic when this Most Great Season arrives. mmmmmm open windows. i can finally use my brand new screens that i bought one week too late (after the last MGSDWNAHOCIN).

(dc fast 6) one of these days

i predict that one of these days soon spring is going to arrive suddenly. i predict it won't just gradually warm up like it does sometimes. this prediction, of course, is based on no data, but it's been SOOOO cold - wintry cold - with no signs of spring coming. winter just can't persist much longer. i guess that's what we get for all that warm weather in december and january. but c'mon, spring - we're ready for you.

(dc fast 6) scale

did you know that if the solar system were laid out to scale on a football field with the sun at one 0 yd line and pluto at the opposite 20 yd line, the sun would only be the size of a dime and the earth would be the size of a grain of sand on the 2 yd line? "sittin' pretty" in the goldilocks zone.

(dc fast 5) another whole world

each year at this time i am blown away by how many people are out and about at 5:30am. it's like a world that's completely separate from mine that i never get to see except between march 2 and march 20. i don't know about you, but when i wake up at 5 and get dressed and it's cold and dark out, i go out of my house expecting to be the lone ranger on empty streets. the degree to which reality is the opposite continually amazes me. today on the way in to work traffic was actually worse than it normally is at 8 or 9 when i usually drive to work on monday mornings. busses running, people clustered on corners, people getting coffee, solid headlights both ways on the roads. and today is the first day i've gotten here early enough to snag the VERY first parking spot closest to the door. last week both fast mornings i wasn't fast enough.

i know i must overlap with these people (the people whose normal life is getting up at 5am every morning), but i never really notice them until march. respect and props to them. i don't know how they do it. 19 days of this is about my limit. it's day 5 of 19 and i'm already behind on sleep because i had too much fun last night at my hiphop/reggae/rap devotional. nasan (aka mozem) rocked my studio that was jam packed with about 40 people. ashkan took lots of pics. as soon as he sends them to me, i'll post them.

(dc - fast 4) try a baseball bat! that should kill it!

maybe it's true what they say about eating just before sleeping causing bad dreams. i didn't quite make it to bed by 9 last night. i was a little wound up from rearranging the studio. it was a big job and i didn't finish, so it was hard to give up and sleep. i started going to sleep around 10:30, but i decided i was hungry and the honey i'd been eating wasn't quite hitting the spot. so i gulped down a burrito and then went to sleep.

i have one of these "energy efficient" all-in-one washing machine/dryer things. it uses condensation rather than air flow to dry the clothes, meaning that it doesn't blow air through and vent it out. instead, it heats up the clothes and then condenses the evaporation and drains the water. i don't know in what way it's supposed to be more efficient because it takes more than 6 hours to do a VERY small load of laundry. it certainly isn't efficient for me. i can't do laundry while i'm working in the studio, which is what i'm doing most of the time i'm home.

anyway, last night i decided to be efficient and run this laundry machine while going to sleep (to try and make progress on the 9 loads of laundry (that would be 4 loads in human years but yes, that's 54-60 hours of laundry here, for anyone that cares) that has collected in the last 2 weeks). it was a struggle to go to sleep because of the noise - this thing is REALLY loud - but, finally, with the help of earplugs, i was able to do it. around 1:30 i woke up from a really frustrating (almost terrifying) nightmare about this washing machine that no one could turn off. we would unplug it and smash it and think we'd finally killed it, but it would come back on every time. when i woke up, the ear plugs were on the table and my dryer was still going in its irritating intervals (about every 10 or 15 seconds it switches tumble directions and drains the water, which is really loud).

i got up and turned the dryer off and went back to sleep. i don't think i'll be trying either of those tricks again.

(dc - fast 2) dude. sleep.

the key to feeling good during the fast (or anytime, really) is getting enough sleep. at new year when we were all going around the room discussing our goals for the year, one of mine was to get enough sleep. our culture almost depends on people being sleep-deprived. i know my life, as i had previously designed it, required me to be sleep-deprived - too many things crammed into each day. so this is really no easy thing, since "enough" for me is 8-9 hours a night (!), and that means totally re-designing my life. since january i've gotten rid of my alarm clock except on days when it's really critical that i wake up at a certain time. on average, i think i've gotten 7-8 hours of sleep this year, though, and i feel better than ever.

but this cuts out a huge chunk of time for doing things, mostly at a time when everyone else is doing things. especially during the fast. a 9:30 bedtime is hard to maintain when people are calling and texting until after midnight. you'd think the solution would be just to turn off the phone. but the phone is the alarm, and i'm not yet confident that, even if i go to sleep at 9:30, i'll wake up at 5:30.

bla bla bla. this is a boring post. but.... dude. sleep. it's a beautiful thing and it can make or break a day.

(dc - fast day 1) happy fast!

well, we're off to a great start. i decided that this year in addition to not eating or drinking from sunrise to sunset, i'm also going to set some personal goals around working on discipline (alas, i'm discipline-challenged. shut up. don't say lazy. that wouldn't be politically correct). my goals for the 19 days of this fast are:

* to focus all my energies on personal integrity, productivity, and cleansing
* to get to bed every night by 9:30 and to work every morning before sunrise
* not to take any naps (anyone who knows me knows that this is ambitious)
* to catch up on all of my projects (Berklee mixing/mastering class, CDs)
* to eat well and moderately in the evenings (still no dairy, refined wheat or sugar)
* to drink lots of regular water at night (ick. water. gotta learn to do this.)
* to exercise every night, even if it's just a walk
* to get rid of lots of stuff i don't need (2 storage spaces -> 1)
* to finish ruhi book 4 (the unit that i missed)

i'm really excited about this fast. i miss the days at stanford when we would all get together every morning, make breakfast, and pray and hang out together. what a great time that was.

happy fasting, everybody.

"Exaggerated fasting destroys the divine forces. God has created man in a way that cannot be surpassed; we must not try to change his creation. Strive to attain nearness to reality through the acquisition of strength of character, through morality, through good works and helping the poor, through being consumed with the fire of the love of God and in discovering each day new spiritual mysteries. This is the path of intimate approach." - 'Abdu'l-Baha, "Divine Philosophy," p.99

(dc) sticky fingered mo

happy Ayyam-i-Ha!

moby was in town sunday to do a big event with the human society (trying to encourage the humane treatment of animals in factory farming). we went to dinner with a bunch of HS people, two of whom were the co-owners of sticky fingers vegan bakery (whom i worship and adore). they brought mo some vegan cake and cookies, which he saved until after our ethiopian feast. if you're ever in adams morgan (or soon, in columbia heights), go to sticky fingers. your life will never be the same again.