Monday, June 13, 2005

(dc -> canadia) progress/regress report

there was at least one sweet friend who was interested in my ongoing battle with a certain virus on my right foot, and in the meaning and significance i attach to it as a metaphor for my battles with my character flaws. i thought it might be a good time for an update on my regress.

i haven't done anything actively to attack the three remaining persistent lesions since i moved to dc, which has now been 5 months. this is nearly half a year of just ignoring them. in houston, roughly a year of laser treatments removed two lesions but created a new one and caused the other two to thrive and grow. last week i decided it was time to attack again. i made an appointment with one of the top dermatologists/laser surgeons in DC and met with him this morning. he said he doesn't recommend surgery, but rather prescribed an ointment that stimulates the body's natural immune system to attack and kill the wart. apparently my body is so used to these things that it doesn't bother to attack them on its own and just needs its attention drawn to the problem areas. to check that my immune system will respond to the treament, he put some of this ointment on my forearm, where i'm supposed to develop an itchy rash within a week. yay. itchy rash. he then charged me $150. plus the $48 in cab rides. he said all told it will probably cost me $300-$500 and take several months for them to go away.

what i make this mean is that there are still a high costs, pain, and a lot of work to be done on my flaws. first of all, i have to stimulate my own healing. no quick laser fix for me. my metaphorical medicine for this will be prayer, discipline, and focused effort. i figure health is easily achievable (the spot on my forearm is already burning and itching) - all the basic ingredients and the capacity to combat my weaknesses are there and just need to be focused on the tasks at hand. if all goes well, progress should be visible by my birthday in august, which is a milestone in several ways for me this year.

while there in the doctor's office, i also had him check for any signs of malignant moles (none) and asked him if he could do anything about several ugly little bumps on my legs. he said the bumps were benign and totally harmless and that the scar after removal would look worse than the bump itself. doctors have told me this before, but i have a hard time believing it. basically i just have to live with these flaws. so this is an exercise in acceptance. no one is perfect.

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