(dc) art and life changing moments

i'll try not to get too earnest here, but you might want to skip this if you're sensitive to that sort of thing. it's 4:18am and i've just spent the last 5 hours watching every last byte on the Garden State DVD. my over-extended life allowed me to completely miss this movie and all associated discussions or spin-offs in the summer of 2004. i rented it yesterday solely because justin said it was good.

it was exquisite. i've still seen none of the reviews or anyone else's opinion of it. i watched the film then i watched the deleted scenes with commentary then without commentary. then i watched the making of the film, and finally i watched the entire film again with zach and natalie's commentary. i guess i could watch it again with the other commentary, but...it's 4:30am and i have a job. i should have started watching earlier than 11pm.

but this is exactly why i want to make music. it's the film equivalent of the music i want to make - something that will inspire someone like me to blow off a night of precious sleep just to experience it. you could tell the film was his life's dream. all his friends and family were involved. he got the finest actors for even the smallest parts. it was hilarious and stunningly gorgeous and rough around the edges but layers and layers deep. it was more about expression than impressing people.

and then i went to the itunes store and bought the sound track. you'd think i'd at least be able to wait till tomorrow to buy the CD, but no. I heard imogen heap's voice at the end, and i didn't even know she put out the record in 2002 as "frou frou." how did i miss that? i was infatuated with her first album in 1998 - but i thought i was the only one. i didn't know anyone else at the time and then i thought she fell off the map. suddenly she's got a new album out this year and now i discover this whole other frou frou thing with Guy Sigsworth. Wow.

and then suddenly, just now, i realized that i'd lost my musical inspiration. i've been looking for it since finishing chelsea's record. it started to wake and stretch recently working on devon's record, and the subsequent music blitz when he and sara were here and we toured around over the holidays. studying at berklee, working with other great artists, and listening more to bands like john vanderslice and mum and sigur ros and death cab for cutie and lots of others kept the embers alive, but tonight i feel like the fires have been fully lit again. something about the music and production of imogen heap and sigsworth...for me it's like a delivery of a million gasoline-soaked apple crates and a band of screaming monkeys with lit torches. i only have this one song so far ("let go"), and i feel like it would be enough to sustain me for days. after about the 10th listning on my CRAP powerbook speakers, i decided to put headphones on. duh. wow. that's all i can say.

if anyone wants to know what kind of music is inside me bursting to get out (at least at this juncture in the narrative), spend a week and listen to nothing but the following:
- imogen heap (all albums)
- frou frou
- sufjan stevens (enjoy your rabbit)
- steve reich
- bjork (debut and post)
- john vanderslice
- iron and wine
- death cab for cutie
- sigur ros

and you'll pretty much get the gist of it.

when i was 18 i read a book ("diet for a new america"), and from that moment on, i have been vegetarian. in the same way, there are musical experiences for me that, in once instance, change my identity. in effect, this film and music tonight has done that for me. i feel like i'm one step closer to knowing who i am and who i want to be. sorry if that sounds cheesy.

it's 5. i should sleep now, if i can. props to justin for recommending this film. i sort of got sidetracked on music tonight (because i make music, not film), but it's a great film. see it if you haven't.