(friendswood) wrong war, wrong time, wrong place

i'm fighting the wrong battles at the wrong time in the wrong place. i am pretty sure this was the right place with at least some of the right battles when i moved here. but i'm increasingly convinced that it's time to move on. not in a small way, but in a big scary way. i want to be in a totally different world. and not just the world i can pretend i'm in when i go into the studio. i've never been antsier or more ready. i'm looking for the path that will take me to my real future. right now i'm living future of my past, the path to which i created when i was 16. it's not all that. i've arrived completely, and it's not the right future. notwithstanding that this is the path leading to "astronaut," it all leaves me thinking, "so what?"

here are the things i'm going to do about it (new year's resolutions to be done with discipline before new year 2005):
0) stay. stay put in friendswood - finish all current projects (in the studio and at nasa)
1) play. spend as much time as possible in my desired world of art and music
2) play. practice and surround myself with creative people
3) pay. get out of debt and refinance my house so i can rent it out if necessary
4) weigh. lose 40 pounds and work on my health, fitness, and fashion
5) pray. align myself with that mysterious Thing which, when i'm aligned with it, feels right
6) yay. weigh all my options carefully and take action

sorry to those of you (justin) who thought this post might be about kerry and bush. i could comment on all that, but other people do a much better job.

my foot is itching again.